How To Help Your Child See Beyond What’s In Front of Them
The darkest nightmare fell upon Arthur Keller and Catherine Everett as they witnessed before them the degeneration of their daughter’s visual and communication abilities.
Helen Keller was only 19 months old when her world fell silent. And for the rest of her life, she lived in a dark, unnerving world.
I always wondered how anyone could possibly live in such a universe. I've experimented - I closed my eyes, walked around my home like a zombie and attempted to communicate with my siblings through sign language.
20 seconds later, I returned to normal life. Nope - not the game I want to play.
For Keller, it’s wasn’t all fun and games. It was her reality - one that she didn’t choose.
But how could someone who's never see or spoke earn a Bachelor’s degree, write 14 books, travel to 35 countries and inspire millions even after her death?
Darkness Has A Powerful Effect On Us
I’m not an expert, but here’s what I’ve discovered:
The absence of visual stimuli or verbal abilities can ignite a special flame within a child.
The lack of what some might call "sense" is the very spark that ignites the imaginative furnace. These individuals navigate their world through their minds, conjuring new realms of thought and unbridled expression. Through the sheer force of their imagination, they are able to unlock a special kind of possibility.
They become more in-tune with the surroundings and the emotions of others.
These children draw from within themselves a bottomless well of empathy and insight. They learn to interpret the world through the bumps of their fingertips, communicate through intricate gestures, and navigate their way with the aid of mind maps (literally speaking).
Safe to say, their sensations and imaginations are at peak form.
Lesson: Children who are born with physical disabilities do not lose their sense of the world. Rather, they possess a supreme level of imagination, creativity and empathy. The longer they live in this world - their world - the stronger it becomes.
And for villains like Bane, it was darkness that gave him the upperhand.
At this point, Batman knew that he wasn't Darkness' only friend
"You think darkness is your ally? You merely adopted it. I was molded by it. I didn't see the light until I was only a man. By that time, it was nothing to me but blinding." - Bane, in response to Batman who attempted to gain an advantage using the dark spots and shadows of the sewers.
Bane didn't see the lack of light as a hindrance. It was his best friend.
Fire A Gun Next To A Lake Full Of Swans
Chris Voss is a former FBI hostage negotiator and author. In his best-selling book Never Split the Difference, Voss breaks down the art of negotiation and what it takes to secure the deal of your life.
There are three kinds of information that your car salesman, realtor and insurance agent may know about you:
The known knowns - the obvious, straightforward things you're looking for. You want to buy a new car, a 4-room apartment, a life insurance plan.
The unknown knowns - the not-so-obvious, but obvious-enough reasons to why you want it in the first place. Your car is old and needs a change, your current house is too small for 3 growing kids, you're worried about your retirement and need financial security.
The unknown unknowns - hidden pieces of information that, if it were known, would completely transform the dynamic of the negotiation and the final outcome. Voss termed this as Black Swans - they do not show themselves in plain sight. You have to force it out of hiding by firing a gun next to a lake full of swans.
But for the best salesmen, uncovering the Black Swan is what makes the job fun.
Picking up minuscule body movements and verbal clues, noticing the unguarded moments, and uncovering the information-rich subtleties by asking specific questions to clinch the deal in their favour. Building a rapport with your customer and creating a conversational and confidential atmosphere for them to be honest with you, revealing their emotions and fears.
Simply put, coming up with all the creative ways to get hold of the golden nuggets of information to give them what they want.
Soon, they'll have a complete view of the puzzle:
You need specific car features due to a medical condition.
You need to sell a home quickly due to a divorce.
You want to financially prepare yourself so that you won't be a burden to your kids in the future.
And I think that's what you need to do today: to train your kids to run freely in the dark - to be able to see through matters despite the absence of information and to come up with the most creative solutions to the world's biggest problem, even when the answers are not obvious.
Keller could achieve breakthroughs by seeing and speaking through the power of her imagination and sensitivity of her fingertips.
Bane could out-muscle Batman without needing to see him, but by mental intuition and the ability to be comfortable in uncomfortable situations.
The best salesman can sell an ice block to an eskimo through the understanding of unobvious human psychology and emotional subtleties.
The power of a Kaleidoscopic Thinking - seeing the same thing in different dimensions and beyond the first sight
So...What Does This Mean For My Child?
Are your children able to see through their imaginations?
They’re able to speak loudly and freely, but can they express themselves with authenticity and honesty?
Can your children uncover the Black Swans of their present and future?
For most of us, our worlds are vibrant and stimulating.
But if this is what it takes to unleash your child's fullest potential, to shut our eyes or silent ourselves, we as parents & educators must rethink our approach when it comes to educating and preparing our children for the future.
The truth is, creativity & imagination is undervalued in our society. Emphasis is placed upon rote learning and standardised testing. We’re telling our children to colour inside the lines rather than to create a vibrant masterpiece.
95% of our children are not seeing what's ahead, not because it isn't obvious, but it's because they can't see beyond the obvious. And the environment around us is making it hard to break free.
But to prepare your kids to stand out in a future that is ultra-competitive, it's time to do things differently and practice the most powerful force within them.
Like how Keller strived to achieve success beyond her limitations, your children can emulate:
unrelenting determination to succeed despite adversity
adaptability to the surroundings and harsh realities of life
express true creativity by channeling all the energy into mindful activities, activating the deepest imaginations of her mind and coming up with novel ideas
ultimately creating the life she desired based on the tools and resources made available to her during her time
Maybe to truly see, they need to first unsee.
The Short of It?
Foresight is what your kids need.
And to enhance that, put more emphasis on these three aspects of your child's mind - creativity, imagination, curiosity. Here are some ways you can do it:
👉 Strive for a life that is filled with discernment and choice
👉 Chase after epiphanies and inspiration
👉 Avoid the pitfalls of toxic mental models that are being instilled from young
👉 Get out there and explore what the world can offer
These skills will differentiate the best from the best, as it propels deep thinking, critical analysis and creative solutions in a future of work that demands unconventional, novel and unseen methods to succeed.
By the way, I still have no clue how Keller went on to earn a degree, write 14 books and travel to 35 countries while being physically impaired. My mind cannot see beyond its possibility. But she did it anyway, so who's complaining?
Be well.
Captain Explorer,
Miss G (@gladyssoh)
