The Greatest Villain Of Your Child's Life
One of the most powerful things about imagery is that you can hear it speak. Take for instance, this iconic scene in Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi.
Most of us would instantly recognise this scene, even if we've never watched one single minute of Star Wars.
Darth Vader, arch enemy of the Rebels, maintains the order of the Galactic Empire through his allegiance to the Dark Side, while a young, inexperienced Luke Skywalker desperately seeks to restore balance to the Force.
Being confronted with his biggest obstacle yet, Vader strikes Skywalker’s Achilles heel - his lack of emotional control & his limited training - while revealing another mind-wrecking truth:
Their father-son relationship.
Placing immense pressure on Luke to join him on the Dark Side, the story unfolds as Luke's dedication to morality and his willingness to sacrifice himself are a testament to his growth as a character and his commitment to the Jedi order.
And that's enough film review for today.
We're more alike than not
3 things we see between the hero and villain in this classic space soap opera:
Both are competing for the same thing: order to the Galaxy.
Villain attacks the hero’s greatest weakness: emotions & inexperience.
Villain pressures the hero into difficult choices: do you value your friends more than your own family?
If you look closely enough, you'll realised there are always two competing forces going head-on with each other all around you.
Growth vs decay. Order vs chaos. Love vs hate.
These forces are what forms the dynamic of life. And because they're often invisible and intangible, it isn't always obvious at first. You probably think it has negligible effect on you.
What about your kids? That's what I wanna talk about today.
Introducing the ultimate villain of your child’s story of creativity: conformity.
Using the exact framework above, let’s analyse:
Both are competing for the same thing: success of your child’s future.
Villain attacks the hero’s greatest weakness: criticise unconventional ideas and punish creative, out-of-the-box thinking.
Villain pressures the hero into difficult choices: fit in like everyone else, or be left behind.
Fighting conformity has always been an uphill battle.
Everyone wants to fit in. Nobody wants to be left out. We don’t feel comfortable dressed in black when everyone’s in white.
It’s human psychology.
When we follow the norms society & culture, we don’t have to work as hard mentally to make decisions because we can rely on the judgment and behaviour of those around us. At best, it creates social cohesion, identity-homogeneity and cultural unity, which is important in times of uncertainty.
We're more alike than not. But on the flipside, it might not seem so straightforward.
Behaviours like groupthink, blind obedience to authority and suppression of dissenting opinions prevents children from suggesting or trying something new. Why waste effort trying to come up something unheard of when we've been doing the same thing for years?
It forms the basis of your resistance to change, and this is a dangerous path to thread into the future. In a simple sense, it is the nemesis of creativity.
Create your own mould
Everyone wants to believe we are capable of something extraordinary.
As we grow older, our parents, teachers, friends talk more of what we can’t and shouldn’t do than what is possible. We begin to lose faith.
But when someone displays a passion for what we’ve always wanted and conveys a purposeful plan on how to get there, we change our perceptions. Suddenly, there is a glimmer of hope that what you once thought was impossible, is actually possible.
And I think this is what your children will need in this 21st century: someone (or something) that can show them it's okay to go down a differential path of uniqueness and achieve success in however it's defined. How magnificent would it be if your children could think like that?
In a time where technologies like AI is making everyone and everything similar, shouldn’t distinctiveness be of paramount importance?
Challenge yourself to think about how your kids can thread a different route from a young age. I'll throw down some ideas here:
✔️ Progressive idea-stacking by asking open-ended questions that lead to better and better outcomes
✔️ Let loose, shake it up, choose to live a life that is defined by discernment and choice , and not following what everyone else is doing (especially for Asian parents, like me 😅)
✔️ Be a rebel in a positive way by not accepting everything at face-value
✔️ Take a leap of craziness once in a while by doing something unexpected or surprising with your kids
✔️ Pursue kaleidoscopic thinking by exposing your kids to different cultures and way of life and showing them there's always another way of doing things.
✔️ Mingle with a community of families and friends who can spur you and your kids to think differently
In the dawn of emerging technologies, it's time that we value the power of human creativity. At the core, it's the engine that drives your child to accomplish anything (personal and professional) life throws at them.
But first, they have to take the road less travelled.
The short of it?
Give your child the permission to be different.
Don’t let the Vadars of your child’s life suck them into thinking that it’s always okay to do what everyone else is doing.
As I always say, creativity is the currency of the future.
Children who have it in abundance will lead the world.
Be well,
Miss G (@gladyssoh)
