3 Levels of Conflict In Every Child (Creatively Speaking)

The hero's journey

Throughout the history of great stories, storytellers often utilise a powerful framework known as The Hero's Journey to engage the audience. The "hero" goes on a journey, confronts challenges, battles adversity and emerges triumphant.

Luke Skywalker discovers he’s destined to become a Jedi and must join the Rebel Alliance to defeat Darth Vader and the Galactic Empire. Harry Potter embraces his wizard identity and confronts Lord Voldemort to stop his destruction of the Ministry of Magic. Simba, exiled by Scar after his father’s death, fights to reclaim his rightful throne in the animal kingdom.

Like these childhood classics, every child resides within a similar variation.

Take for instance, Emma.

Curious and creative, Emma enjoys outdoor adventures, photography, and storytelling. But she’s also drawn to the digital playground of social media, games and movies, like her friends, feeling pressure to conform. Balancing screen time with other interests is tough. She faces cyberbullying, misinformation, and a loss of creativity due to excessive online exposure.

In this situation, could she win?

Every story has a villain

Over the years, I’ve worked with hundreds of children and heard the same thing from the grownups: my kids are turning into a “robot”!

Since the introduction of smartphones and it's sea of apps, our lives have undergone a metamorphic shift: the lines between online and offline are blurred, and our interactions, information consumption, and self-esteem have converged into a new way of life.

This "life" is now interconnected with information, information and more information, powered by the hyper-functionalities of modern day technology.

In his 1967 The Myth of the Machine, historian Lewis Mumford warned that computers and rising technology was “sucking away our freedom and destroying life-enhancing values.” But by the early 1970s, however, a shift was underway from fear-mongering to a symbol of individual expression and liberation. For millenniums, humanity could advance only when society accepts the new in exchange for the old.

I believe we're deep in a similar transition since the first iPhone, and now the question is not "should I ban my kids from technology" but rather, "how can we utilise the current tools to springboard our kids into new pinnacles of creativity and innovation?"

The real threat, as I see it, is not in the tech itself, but in what it makes us become. Too much permission has been granted to the digital world to dictate how your kids should live their lives. They become, what I call, a passive consumer.

Characterised by a disconnection from the present moment as they detach themselves from the real world, children find themselves in a distorted perception of reality as the Algorithm decides what content is “best” for them. Mindless scrolling has resulted in a whirlwind of misinformation and superficiality.

It is as if we humans forget that we are capable of making decisions.

And I know this not because I think it is. I know this because I’ve experienced it myself.

But deep down, what disturbs me most is how it’s impeding the creativity we as a generation have a responsibility to protect. The greatest villain of your child’s life is not the iPhone, TikTok, or Minecraft. It's the conformity that intrudes into their lives through these mediums.

A passive consumer is one that accepts whatever is presented to them without passing it through a filter: does this add value to my life, does it bring me closer to my goals, does it fulfil my inner need to create?

Does it enhance my creativity as a human being?

Storytellers know the stronger, more evil, more cunning the villain, the harder it would be for the hero to emerge triumphant. But the nemesis of creativity can be crushed by the powers of an equal, if not, more powerful force in the opposite direction: "active creation."

To understand what it means to be an “active creator”, you first have to understand the three levels of conflict every child faces, creatively speaking.

3 levels of conflict (creatively speaking)

Extrinsic

The external conflict can manifest itself in your kids as “I have to be like everyone else.”

Societal expectations — academics, appearance, wokeness — have compelled our children to follow trends, preferences, and behaviours of their peers, media, and adults around them. I call this the first line of attack: the physical world your kids inhibit directly shapes the perceptions of what’s expected of them.

It’s human psychology. No one wants to be the “odd” one out.

We spare our kids the hassle by blending them neatly into the crowd. Mimicking what's been done and checking the boxes of "success" becomes an instinctive process we chase after. But creativity is often going against the grain, defying human intuition and chasing the "illogic".

It's requires a conscious (and brave) effort to say, "I'll tread a different path for my kids."

But you’d be wrong to think the reason why your kids are not unleashing their creativity is limited to “being like everyone else.”

Something deeper is happening within them.

Intrinsic

The Joker’s job is to wreak havoc on Batman and the city of Gotham. Yet ill intentions of that sort aren’t suffice. He must hit it where it hurts most: exploiting Batman’s sense of justice, morality, and loved ones to create torment from within.

Intrinsic conflicts manifest itself in the same way , albeit not dramatic like the movies. Instead, it boils down to the one thing every child thinks secretly to themselves:

Do I have what it takes?

This is frustrating, least to say, and at most, confusing. But no child wants to feel restraint. They’re searching for an outlet that builds self-confidence. Breaking free from the constraints within is the key that opens the doors of creativity.

But in an environment of conformity, that would be a tough goal to achieve.

Your kids’ internal desire to resolve this frustration is a greater motivator than their desire to solve the extrinsic problem. Their external problem might be the weight of society’s expectations. The inside, however, may involve a suppression of individuality, creativity and thereby the lack of fulfilment.

Which brings me to the third level of conflict.

Intellectual

Why is it important that Luke Skywalker overcome Darth Vadar? Why is it important that Harry Potter defeat Lord Voldemort? Why is it important that Simba, the one true heir to the throne, claims his rightful place as king of the jungle?

It isn’t just about “bad guys cannot win” or “we have to save innocent people”.

Bringing light into the Dark Side signifies the continuous pursuit of balance. Defeating Lord Voldemort is how Harry overcomes his fears and trauma. Overthrowing Scar and claiming the throne is about embracing purpose, identity and legacy.

Their victories are not just about good versus evil.

It’s a reflection of what every child desires to achieve in their lifetime: to endure, learn, and grow from challenges that ultimately shape their world. And when they do that, victory could be found on the other side.

Every child wants to be involved in a story that is larger than themselves. To truly discover one's creativity identity is to conquer this philosophy.

Pursue human creativity

The path of an active creator is not just about “making” things.

It’s about the identity your kids choose to embody — the story of their lives — that shapes who they become. It’s about tackling all three conflicts in one shot — extrinsic, intrinsic, intellectual — that will give your kids the ultimate sense of fulfilment.

Challenge yourself to think about how your kids can seek a life that places creativity, originality and purpose at paramount importance.

Some ideas to think about:

✔️ Expose your child to the creative arts like photography and art. I am on a journey to transform kids from passive consumers into active creators, and I believe that engaging in active creation through the arts is a powerful way to achieve that goal. Instead of colouring within the lines, teach your kids to create a masterpiece by opening their eyes to new perspectives.

✔️ Intentionally curate a culture at home that circles around interests, intellect and information.

✔️ Let loose, shake it up, choose to live a life that is defined by discernment and choice, and refrain from following what everyone else is doing, especially for Asian parents like me.

✔️ Be a rebel in a positive way by not accepting everything at face-value. Teach your kids how to question, brainstorm and filter out the fluff in this noisy, information-laden world.

✔️ Pursue kaleidoscopic thinking by exposing your kids to different cultures and way of life and showing them there’s always another way of doing things outside of home.

✔️ Mingle with a community of families and friends who can spur you and your kids to think differently.

The world that Emma is living in will continue to take shape. It could get more complicated as technology, culture and society mutate into a new form.

But whatever the future holds, know that your kids can emerge victorious if you intentionally pursue creativity.

Be well,

Miss G (@gladyssoh)