The Power of Mentorship
In a moment of impulse, Henrik Karlsson ordered 42 biographies of exceptional figures — writers, mathematicians, philosophers, composers — and started skimming through them.
He had one objective: to find out what made them exceptional.
In Childhoods of Exceptional People, Karlsson outlined the universal patterns of a genius. There were many interesting points, but there was one that caught my attention:
Exceptional individuals received extensive one-on-one tutoring.
In a similar article, Why We Stopped Making Einsteins, Erik Hoel singled out an important factor when it comes to raising exceptional people: they all went through a season of aristocratic tutoring. It’s more than a tutor whom you pay to teach your kids math or science. It’s also differs from ‘tiger parenting’.
It’s was when parents paid a decent amount of money to an adult — an expert in their field — to spend significant amount of time with their children. But more than giving instructions and hounding over their homework, these ‘tutors’ instructed and engaged with them in profound discussions. To “foster both knowledge and engagement within intellectual subjects and fields”, Hoel writes, was key.
Aristocratic tutoring, as the name suggest, were for aristocrats. A huge surprise.
Reality was, the wealthy and influential had the means to pay someone to journey with their kids. The poor? Not so lucky. But that was then. Now we’re seeing it at all spectrums, masquerading as mentorship.
Mentorship, that's what I want to talk about today.
More than a mere 1-on-1 tutorship, mentors represent a prominence of influence. They go deeper with the child, leading to more exploration, self-directed learning and meaningful relationships. This list isn't exhaustive.
“Yeah well, my kids have me, and that's enough” is what you might be thinking.
100% agree with you. Everything starts at home. You are your child’s first teacher. But while parenting can involve guidance and support, both are unique in their own ways.
Take a look:
Parenting (you) is:
✔️ a full time role
✔️ involves a power dynamic
✔️ wide range of responsibilities
✔️ requires a long term commitment
Mentorship (someone else) is:
✔️ goal / project oriented
✔️ a focused and specific relationship
✔️ concentrated area of expertise
✔️ an equal level of power with the other person
3 reasons your child needs a mentor
1. Mentors can guide your children towards the right direction:
Children will receive fresh revelation to life;
They’re equipped with strategies for growth that leads them to their purpose;
Their vision becomes clearer and their compass fine-tuned
When this happens, it helps your child zoom in to what they stand for.
I appreciate the value of mentorship, which is why I have had mentors. Luck was on my side when I had access to individuals who could provide meaningful guidance. Academics, community involvement, spirituality, personal development, marriage, and business. You name it.
Their presence served one purpose: facilitate the mastery of my craft. From rationalising and laying out my thoughts, to creating an action plan. They weed out the distractions I couldn’t have seen on my own.
Me with a bunch of young creators
2. Mentors help your children step into a new world:
I thought it would be wise to caveat that mentors are not 80-year old millionaires who had a stream of success in ground-breaking technologies. Neither do they have long white beards like Gandalf.
Quite the opposite, in fact.
Mentors can be ordinary people who are a few steps ahead of your kids, in experience, knowledge and stage of life. You're tapping on their depth of experience to provide a clear and concise direction for ourselves.
It’s like them having done all the work for you, paving the way so we don’t have go through the fluff. They have been there, done that, and are now here to tell your kids why they should be doing this instead of that.
There is knowledge in learning from your own mistakes. But true wisdom comes when you learn from other's mistakes.
And that is the job of the mentor - to show you why what they had tried did not work and why this way could be better. It makes you question your own beliefs, values and purpose in life.
Mentors can open doors and provide your children with access to new experiences and opportunities otherwise inaccessible on their own. This helps your children broaden their horizons and explore new possibilities for their future.
3. Mentors help children clear the noise in their head and focus on what matters:
This is the biggest reason why your children need mentors.
Nothing is more frustrating for your children than not finding the answers they are looking for. They can’t do it because of this one reason: there is no space left in their heads to process and understand their thoughts.
Waging an impossible war against distraction, your kids are out of mental breath.
And it’s hardly ever their fault. The world is noisy, not in a decibel sense, but one that clouds their minds, preventing them from focusing on the important stuff.
Distraction is at its peak form today:
Media (doom-scrolling)
Comparisons
Achievements
Cultural expectations
School homework & activities
Society’s definition of success
People’s opinions about you and your child
Distractions, misalignments and false truths.
This is where mentorship can make the biggest difference: reveal, clarify and amplify. To help your children develop a strong sense of self and confidence to pursue their passions. To throw out anything that doesn’t align with their values.
With the help of the veterans, your child will be able to cut through the clamour and focus on the truth.
Get someone onboard
All the above are not all feel-goody.
I’ve experimented and seen first hand the change in the children my team and I have mentored over the past three to five years. Journeying with these young creators not only changed their worldview, it changed mine too — viewing children as capable of creating, full of agency, and possessing minds filled with wonder and imagination.
Help your kids resist the temptations that are claiming their attention. Get someone onboard. Adopt the modern way of aristocratic tutoring.
Be well,
Miss G (@gladyssoh)
