THE MOST FRIGHTENING THING A PARENT COULD EXPERIENCE (& HOW TO AVOID IT)
4 dead-simple tips
The Scream by Edvard Munch
18 months ago my life changed. I became a mother.
Since then, instead of worrying about what I'll eat for lunch, 90% of what I think of everyday is my son. How the tides have changed.
It's crazy, I know 😅
I have many fears. I fear he'll get hurt, not have any friends or meaningful relationships. I wonder if he'll ever go astray, do badly in school or make big regrettable mistakes.
But amongst all, my biggest fear is for my son to lack passion and purpose in life.
To wake up everyday and have nothing to live for. Nothing to call his own. Nothing to fight for.
But here's the interesting thing.
A lack of passion in your child isn't because they are lazy or distracted.
It stems from something deeper:
Your child may be fulfilling someone else's dreams and aspirations.
If you don’t create a path of curiosity for them, they will be assigned one.
If you don’t create a path of imagination in their lives, they will be assigned one.
If you don’t create a path of creativity for them to follow, they will be assigned one.
When a child lacks a spark, it’s like they’re sleepwalking through life. They go through the motions, but there’s no fire in their eyes. They’re just existing, not truly living.
Ever since I became a mother, I've learnt that it's my job to guide and empower my child to find the spark that sets them on a fiery course towards success.
But how do you do that?
By reversing the roles in their lives.
Sleepers to dreamers. Passive to active. Consumer to creator.
Here's 4 tips on how you could do this.
1) Ignite curiosity by opening a channel of conversation with your child.
Nothing to call their own?
That’s okay. Not every child needs to be undyingly passionate about something from the start. But fanning a fire of curiosity within them should be the beginning of their discovery.
I believe that the best way to do this is to continuously ask questions.
Well, but I don’t mean this:
“What do you want to be when you grow up”.
Instead, ask questions that give them wonder - like:
What is a problem you see today you wish you could solve?
What do you think the world needs more of today?
What dreams do you have?
What are some things in your everyday that makes you excited?
This shift in focus encourages creativity and a sense of contribution. It allows children to reflect on their beliefs and understand their own sense of morality. It sparks off tiny aspirations of what they want to achieve in the future.
2) Uncover activities they can call their own.
Continuous communication with your child should be complemented with action.
Don’t just discuss. Engage and execute. Get involved in activities that will surprise them.
Do unnatural things once in a while. For example, if your family never does physical activities, surprise your children by saying “let's go to the beach to do stand-up paddling”, or “let's go to climb central to scale some rock walls”. Trust me, your kids will go “are you serious dad??”
It’s the element of surprise that triggers them.
Because kids LOVE surprises. (adults too!!)
The lesson here is to normalize getting out of their comfort zones and doing things different.
This alone can spark off a sense of adventure with them, and with constant activity searching, you will figure out what your kids like (or dislike).
Activities that truly hit the spot are those that they automatically take ownership of - where they can’t seem to stop chattering about it and are so eager to jump back into it.
In my experience educating children, I’ve seen first-hand so many kids rising above themselves, taking ownership of their work, and exhibiting a sense of pride I don’t see in other children.
They become passionate of their own work and the gallery they’ve curated. The excitement that came from sharing their work with friends & family is so encouraging to me as an educator. This is the kind of passion you want your children to embody.
It will take time for your child to discover an activity that speaks to them.
Gardening. Dancing. Swimming. Baking. Exploring. Photography?
Just be consistent in searching for one.
3) Prioritise collaboration & community.
Your child may have discovered what they are passionate about, or maybe they're still on a journey of exploration.
Wherever they're at, follow this one rule.
Never do it alone.
Get others onboard the journey of exploration.
Inspire other families & friends to go on a journey together.
The one thing that binds us all together
Play together, learn together. Receive support, give support. Build a community around your child’s passion.
Even better, find mentors who can journey with your child to discover their identity.
Remember, passion isn't a solitary thing.
It thrives in collaboration.
4) Embody the identity of an active creator (instead of a passive consumer).
When your child starts to see life as a path of creation, they begin to see clearly.
And the biggest thing you can give your child is the power to tell stories. Anywhere, anytime.
When a child takes a photograph, for example, they’re capturing a moment in time that they’ll never be able to experience again. They’re creating something that is uniquely their own. When they put it all together, they’re telling a story that only they can tell.
When children are able to create things on their own, they demonstrate fearlessness and a pioneering spirit.
When they publish their work to the world via social media, they are defying the dominant narrative that children are passive and lack agency. These are hallmarks of true leaders. Safe to say, our world could do with more leaders.
To thrive in this harsh world, your child will need to express their creativity in the most profound way, to solve the biggest problems with the most effective solutions.
By fostering a sense of creation within them, you are preparing them for what’s ahead.
Be well,
Captain Explorer,
Miss G
