10 Traits of Children Adults Should Embody
I want to celebrate our children for simply being themselves.
Whether they’re four, seven or twelve, let us remember their special place in the universe.
They are, after all, children of the world. Our world.
I wish I could share a million things with my younger self. Play a little harder. Chase those silly dreams. Seize those one-in-a-lifetime opportunities. While I can’t turn back the clock, I'm lucky to be on a journey towards empowering children creatively. It has brought my team and I immense joy and fulfilment seeing them unleash their creative identities through the arts.
Perhaps it is also fulfilling because it reminds me of how growing up can be a peculiar process—one moment, you’re a child, and the next, you’re an adult. A couple of days ago I bumped into an ex-student. I don't remember him looking like that. He’s now taller than me, and his voice deeper than before. But somehow I could still his youthful spirit and innocence radiating just by being in his presence. That I fully remember.
Life moves swiftly. It transforms like the seasons. I’ve come to realise that while everything around you is constantly changing, childhood is, and always will be, the best time of your life. That does not change. And when I say this, I’m not implying that being a grownup is the end of the road. I see it as a way of reminding myself of what I've left behind in my younger years.
Writer and illustrator Brad Montague in his book Becoming Better Grownups emphasises that the secret to being a better person—a better grownup—is to be more like a child. It’s paradoxical. Yet he has convinced me that our inner selves would only come alive when we listen to the child within us and the children around us. “Viewing our work, ideas, and responsibilities with a child’s perspective makes us kinder and more joyful", Montague writes. Yes, we can become sillier, softer, happier and at the same time enjoy the perks of being an adult, all while embracing the innate nature of a child. It isn’t mutually exclusive. Both persons can co-exist if we’d allow it to.
My childhood was nothing particularly special. Endless play, ice cream, friendships, vacations, and sleepovers, a period aptly described as being worry-free. The direct opposite—adulthood (or parenthood)—with its burdens like taxes, bills, health scares or the sheer exhaustion of raising children can sometimes overshadow the joy of adolescence.
But I don't want to lose that spirit. I don't want you to lose that spirit.
Activating your inner child is possible and entirely in your control. It’s the hallmark of what makes us creative beings. It’s the big sign on the wall that says “remember who you are!" Yes, I think we’ve all forgotten who we are. You've lost touch with the childlike qualities of forgiveness and love and humility and trust and purity and authenticity that were once the core of our innocence. The saddest thing is the older we get, the harder it is to reclaim those traits.
This is the greatest dilemma faced by ex-children.
Illustration by Brad Montague
For this Children's Day, I want to remind us of 10 simple things exemplified in children that can make us better people. I believe if you'd apply at least one or two of them, you'll become a better grownup.
Be a happy rebel. The thing about being a grown up is that you think you’re supposed to be in control. Yet it’s also the greatest illusion one could experience. That you’re supposed to follow the rules. That nothing could go wrong if you follow what society has deemed to be “true”. This isn't lawlessness. There is power in not following the script drafted by culture and society. Childhood is and will always be the best time to go against the grain—venturing into places most won’t even dare to set foot upon, being somebody that’s different than the norm, saying things that ordinary people would frown upon. It's a lot easier to not conform when we were kids. But now? We’re all born with a unique personality, perspective and poise. Kids know this—and they don’t care what anyone else thinks. Why be like everyone else when you can be different? Kids know how to be a rebel, and yet be happy about it. Childhood reminds us that rules are meant to be broken. To be bent. To be readjusted. We grownups hate it. But it’s exactly what we need. Be a happy rebel.
Mask your perceptions of risk and just do it. Children approach new experiences with fearless curiosity. They dive into the unknown with the unshakable belief that they can conquer anything. Sometimes it's stupid. Sometimes it's stubborn. But there's liberty in the spirit behind that ignorance—one that is courageous, bold, and not afraid to fail. You could do with a little more of that.
Don’t take it personally. Children are quick to forgive and forget. At least more than us ex-children. They rarely hold grudges. They rarely ignore each other. They rarely let past mistakes define their relationships with other kids. In a world filled with never-ending chaos, it doesn’t hurt to be a little more like children.
Process time in the natural way. As we age, we often become forgetful in a way that goes beyond just forgetting where we parked our car or the account password. We have developed a habit of getting distracted, which makes us lose sight of our true selves. Being present, or living in the moment, means allowing time to flow naturally, uninterrupted by constant glances at our phones or matters prying for our attention. Children excel at this art. They voluntarily immerse themselves in the magic of everyday activity, where time feels both abundant and suspended. But as we grow, we’ve become too preoccupied to notice it. There are merits in learning to process time in its purest form. Time is static. Children naturally grasp this concept and effortlessly live in the moment.
Create something like you believed in it 100%. NASA conducted a famous study on the creative genius of humans to measure how creative we remain over the years of getting “educated”. The test results were shocking: 98% of 5-year-old children fell into the “genius category of imagination”, this number dropped to 12% for 15-year-olds and to 2% for adults. Whatever I’m doing at Gosh! Kids is making sure those statistics stay high up by staying true to my mission: to transform children from passive consumers into active creators through the creative arts. I won't say it's challenging—kids are natural when it comes to creating. But you know what (or who) is the real challenge? Grownups. Ever felt like you've lost your creativity as you got older? Or that you're not exercising your "creator muscles"? That's cause we're too bogged down by life. We've lost the intentionality to create. We're too "busy" with our jobs. Get back on track, I'd say! Pick up a new hobby, sign up for a course, learn social media, invest in personal branding. Write. Draw. Photograph. Create something you would like created. Create something like you believed in it 100%.
Less is more. Children find joy in the simplest pleasures—a game of tag, a hug, or a favourite toy, or even a scoop of ice-cream like my chocolate-fanatic two-year old. Behind this idea is the big notion of gratitude. They don’t need big rooms, big toys or big birthday parties to give them the same amount of pleasure. They linger over life’s simple blessings. A child knows that happiness and fulfilment is not about having more, but focusing on the little that they already have to satisfy their desires.
Keep ask (unboring) questions. Children are great question-askers. Better than grownups. They’re not interested in the boring ones—how old are you, where do you live, what do you do for a living. l believe we’re a lot more than how those questions define us. kids can make exceptional interviewers because, behind every question they pose, they seek a deeper connection. They are inquisitive about your passions and interests, probing beyond the surface to establish a meaningful connection. "Oh! We're alike!" Children's boundless curiosity drives them to ask questions as a means to explore and understand the world around them, recognising that statistics does not define their identity. We could learn from kids by asking them unboring questions.
Be nice. The least demanding thing ever demanded from us. Yet it’s also the most difficult thing to do. It's true—children do have a heart of gold. They show kindness to others without judgment. They know when their classmate needs to go to the sick bay. Watching these kids display acts of "niceness" encourages me to be more of something I'm guilty of having a lack of—compassion
Be shameless in telling others your dreams. Children dream big. Their dreams are filled with hope and possibility. Find a close one and talk about it. But don’t just talk about superficial stuff. Talk about what makes you happy. Talk about what is troubling you. Talk about your dreams—your goals, your desires, your aspirations. Like a child who shamelessly tells his parents or close friends what he wished he could do. Rekindle your imagination.
Do what you have always done best—having fun. Children possess the remarkable knack of retaining their playfulness even in the face of overwhelming pressures. It's not uncommon for them to find moments of humor, even during the most solemn occasions. So play. Have fun. Let loose. Don't be too serious all the time. Connect with one another through happy, playful moments. Author Erica Bauermeister sums up in her novel Joy for Beginners, "adults need to have fun so children will want to grow up." Your children are watching you. They're following your every move. If they don't see you—their role model—having fun, nothing ever will.
The message for children is the same message for grownups: stay true to yourselves. Seeing the world through a child’s eyes leads to more happiness and fulfilment than we can expect. Embodying a kind of child-likeness is not a sign of weakness. It’s a liberating act of sorting our fragmented child-like identities back in one piece. It’s about returning to the world as children of the world, because being in childhood is the best time of your life.
We can’t change our past, but we can write a better future. The better chapters begin with unearthing the child-likeness buried somewhere deep in our soul.
In the end, the more we become like children, the more we connect with our own children, as Montague sums it perfectly, “maybe we exist as reminders to each other of what really matters. Grownups reminding children. Children reminding grownups. We are indispensable to each other.”
That's the kind of spirit I want to embody as a parent, as an educator, as a child.
I hope the same for you.
Be well,
Miss G (@gladyssoh)
